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  • Music :: "TwentyTwoFourteen" by The

Beneath the Mango Trees (broken love weeps)

Coconut daydreams and foreign cities can only soothe the wound for so long.

Time and space are good distractions from the pain that I feel throughout my body, coursing through my veins, up my spine, swelling in my throat and leaving me speechless.

Tears are sometimes the only words I have left when the world slows down around me. And I can feel them growing in the upper part of my chest, hugging my sternum with pleas to be released from the pressure of a breaking heart.

And it is breaking, more and more with every breath…

Silently behind scenes of motorcycles and airports…

Beneath Mango trees and Southeast Asian streets…

Not-so-softly beneath smiles and every meaningless flirtation with a stranger.

How do I let go of a love that still stands lovingly before me?

And willingly surrender it to the river of ideas that I cannot and will not follow?

How do I let go without losing it?

How do I keep it without losing my balance?

I don’t see a way without pain and empty spaces.

Without sacrifice.

Without noxious hope filling my lungs

and burning my eyes

and charring the space I hold for love.

I have held demons and spiders and bloodied warriors.

I have given everything for less than nothing.

I have been a brace for the crumbling decay of other peoples skeletons.

And so I have learned to build walls to keep myself safe.

But this star walked through them.

Without effort

Without fear

Without swords or calloused grips.

Without promises.

Just light illuminating a room

through cracks and past life magic

A room built for darkness

and resilience

and the survival of dreams

How do I fill the holes

Blanket the walls

and smother the light

without being left alone

blind and cold

And void of hope?

Perhaps I just say goodbye

one last time

gnawing at the bone until i’m free

to bleed out the love

and the grief

and the breathlessness

I never meant to let the light back in

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